Tuesday, October 12, 2010

So I guess I just don't get it

So - we're months and months past the separation and pending divorce of my ex-husband and a few weeks past the sudden break up of me and you know who.  I finally decided to re-enter the dating scene and maybe it's just been too long for me, but it just seems like what I'm looking for just isnt' out there.  You meet someone, at first they tell you all sorts of stuff and you think you like them and then the more you see them the more you realize what they were telling you wasn't 100% the truth.

Maybe I'm just biased?  I'll admit - if you know who called me today and said lets get back together, I'd say yes in a second.  So maybe I'm just comparing all men to him and others just aren't good enough?  After all, you know who was the only one I trusted after my husband and we have a history together - if it weren't for the memories with him, I'd probably be over it.  But when I see him or talk to him - it starts all over again.

Why can't men just be themselves?  Why can't a woman just find a companion that they can spend some time with, hang out with, no strings attached?  It's either all or nothing - no in between.  I want what you know who and I had (except I WILL NOT involve my children this time) where he just came and went and did his thing and I did my thing and we just got together here and there - I miss that.

Everyday my horoscope tells me to redirect my energy back to "that one" and I have tried - but he doesn't talk to me, doesn't return my calls, it took me 3 weeks to get my son's book back from him, he had me do up a special flag pic but won't reply whether or not he wants me to order it, and I just don't get it.

Today - my horoscope said to follow my dream.  Well ... so I had insomnia but when I went back to bed about 5 am I did have a dream and in my dream I asked him out to dinner.  So do I try again even though the man will not talk to me?  BTW - I do not know why he won't talk to me - when we broke up he said he still wanted to be in each other's lives, the kids could still come out and play, we would be friends, etc.  But I'll bet you $50 the only messages in his facebook account that haven't been replied to is mine.

Men - if you're out there - can someone PLEASE explain this to me?  All I want is companionship - I don't want to get married, I'm not looking for a "new baby daddy", I'm not looking for a one night stand, I'm not looking for you to move in with me or me move in with you, I'm not looking for your to report to me and I'm not going to report to you - why can't men just do that??

Arrrgggghhhhh - so freaking frustrating and men just suck lately!


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